


Don't You Wanna Trade?

by Orange_Coyote



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Fic or Treat, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Halloween, Humor, M/M, candy trades, even though it's not as obvious as it could be, i wrote this in a couple hours so just love me, they both have a crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-31
Updated: 2019-10-31
Packaged: 2021-01-15 17:34:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21257033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Orange_Coyote/pseuds/Orange_Coyote
Summary: 4 Times Peter Willingly Trades His Candy + 1 Time He Does Not





	Don't You Wanna Trade?

**Author's Note:**

> This is a fill for the Isn't It Bromantic? Fic-Or-Treat Event created by the lovely thelonebamf and I can say I had SO MUCH FUN participating. It was supposed to be just a quick drabble but it got away from me. :] All mistakes are mine because I didn't want to spoil the surprise with a beta.
> 
> Prompt 195:  
"4 Times Peter Agreed to Trade His Candy and 1 Time He Did Not"

Peter broke his stride in just enough time to avoid running straight into an excited mercenary. He resisted the urge to sigh, unwilling to take out his crappy day on an innocent party. "What's up, Wade?"

Wade bounced from one foot to the other, gesturing at the Heath candy bar sticking out of Peter's book-bag. "Can I have that?" When Peter merely cocked his head in response, Wade added, "I'll trade you."

"For what?"

Wade dug through one of his pockets and extracted a half melted toffee. From another pocket he proffered a miniature bag of peanut M&Ms. Then he held out both hands, eyes beseeching.

Peter smiled despite himself. "Deal."

**.....-----.....**

The first week of September hit Peter like a freight train. More accurately,  _ Wade  _ hit him with the strength of a freight train when he plowed into an unsuspecting Peter after a long day of college classes.

"Sorry Petey Pie! Didn't mean to knock you over."

"Wade, I didn't fall over."

"Well, yeah. 'Cause I caught ya. I'd never let my precious Petey fall."

Peter rolled his eyes, extracting himself from Wade's arms. "Whatever."

He continued walking, knowing Wade would follow to tell Peter why he'd shown up in the first place. They walked a few blocks in mutual silence before Wade spoke up.

"Can I have that?"

Peter turned his head to see what the other man was talking about. A stick of red licorice poked out between two gloved fingers, pointing at the lone pink starburst laying atop the pile of books in Peter's arms. He'd honestly forgotten it was even there, given to him by a fellow student in his last class. Hands full, Peter shrugged.

Wade took the gesture as affirmation, happily switching out his Red Vine for the Starburst. He popped it into his mouth gleefully, wrapper and all, completely unbothered by Peter's gasp of shocked disgust.

**.....-----.....**

The change in weather from week to week reminded Peter that he needed to invest in a warmer coat. His threadbare puffer jacket from three years past wasn't holding up as well as it used to; September was nearing its end and October wouldn't be any warmer.

As he sat across from Wade at their usual Mexican haunt, listening while the man animatedly recalled the first time he'd been hired to take care of a dictator -- emphasis on  _ dic  _ \-- while stuffing a burrito into his mouth with every other sentence, Peter craved something to warm him up.

When the waitress returned to check on them a few minutes later, he ordered a hot chocolate. The restaurant had the best recipe in town, made with actual chocolate and not some mass produced powder. He salivated a little just thinking about the glorious liquid warmth in his near future.

About ten minutes later the waitress brought over a ceramic mug wafting steam and the scent of rich chocolate. Peter was overjoyed to notice the staff member responsible for his drink had left a few squares of chocolate on the plate beneath the mug.

"That smells better than the time I convinced Colossus to cook me a dish from his homeland," Wade commented.

Peter grabbed the mug and lifted it to his nose. "It's heavenly," he agreed, taking a healthy sniff before indulging in a cautious sip. (He'd learned a long time ago a burnt tongue wasn't something his spidey powers prevented.) The smooth texture felt like silk as it crossed his palate. He took a longer drink, vulnerable taste buds be damned, and sighed in contentment.

Wade resumed his story, finishing up just as Peter finished his meal. Swallowing the dregs of his hot chocolate, he reached for the chocolate pieces he had left untouched until now. Dessert was a dish best savored.

The chocolate itself held the same silkiness as its counterpart, with twice the punch. Without milk to temper it, the bitterness of the cocoa hit in all the best ways.

"Can I get a piece of that?"

Peter blinked in Wade's direction, his hands paused mid-motion in their act of breaking off a second square. "Some of my chocolate?"

"Yeah," Wade replied. "If that's okay."

"I mean, you could just order one?" Peter pointed out.

"I would, but I don't want the drink. And we both know how you feel about wasting food. Just give me one little piece. Even a fleck."

"Wade."

"Oh, I get it. Nothing's free in this world. Alright, Petey. You've got me. I'll trade you for it."

"What would you possibly have right now that I would want?"

"I will stop calling you Sweetums in front of your surrogate father."

"Not good enough. You're hardly around Tony often enough for that to be valid."

"I'll take out your trash and clean your dishes for a week."

"A little better, but still a no from me."

Wade looked at Peter in that soul searching way he had. "Oh, I know!" He leaned forward over the table, eyes wide. "I'll buy you a pretzel from the one cart in Times Square that you love but almost never go to because the Spiderman performer there gives you the creeps."

Peter broke the chocolate in two, giving the larger piece to Wade. "Deal."

**.....-----.....**

"October 13th just  _ had  _ to land on a Friday this year," Peter grumbled to himself as he webbed up a robber wearing a (very unoriginal, in his humble opinion) Jason mask. He sighed as he shot a web up at the nearest building.

Mid flight, he heard a scream and quickly changed his trajectory. Superstitions ran deep in the modern world, seeing as any Friday the 13th brought an uptick in crime. October occurrences just happened to be a little more eventful. Ten o'clock hadn't even struck yet, but Peter already wanted to ditch his suit for some comfy sweats and his bed.

Following the sound of the scream led Peter to a now familiar sight. On one side of the alley stood Deadpool, returning a purse and a ring to an elderly woman. On the opposite side lay a thwarted mugger. The man had a sock stuffed in his mouth, hands and feet tied together to presumably prevent any further trouble. Peter mentally congratulated Wade's foresight, simultaneously wondering where the hell the merc had gotten the sock. He hoped it wasn't pulled out of a nearby dumpster.  _ Gross. _

Deadpool spotted him and gave him a smile and a wink before returning his attention to the woman. Assuring she could get home okay on her own, he gave her a hug before sending her on her way.

The woman waved at Peter as she walked past, saying something about the blessing of two spidermen protecting the city. He didn't have the heart to correct her, so he just waved back.

"Webs! You're here!"

"Yep, here I am. Looks like you've got things covered though."

"I will never not want you around," Wade said genuinely. Then he glanced back toward the criminal moaning and squirming against the rough gravel of the alleyway. "Oh yes, I nearly forgot about you," he crooned in the man's direction.

Even experiencing Wade in action for the past several months didn't desensitize Peter to the sudden shifts in Wade's moods. The man was both the most ridiculous and the most deadly person Peter had ever seen.

Luckily for Peter, the merc's moods seemed to be leveling out more and more the longer they kept patrolling together. Otherwise he'd probably not feel as comfortable watching Wade unsheathe his katana.

The criminal stopped moving, his eyes widening as a stream of gurgling noises issued from around the gag in his mouth. He tried to slither backwards as Wade approached, but the attempt led nowhere.

"What you did is not something your mother would be proud of," Wade said, casually twirling his weapon as he spoke. "Lucky for me, I'm not her."

Back pressed against bricks, the criminal had no more room to wriggle away. Deadpool stood beside the man, the toes of his boots level with the man's eyes. He crouched down and stared directly into the man's face, terror oozing from the man in waves, and a smile slowly stretched over his mask. "I've decided to be merciful and let the cops pick you up. But next time you and I meet, I won't be so nice. Understand me?"

The bound man nodded frantically, tearing falling to the floor as Deadpool backed away.

Peter followed without a word as Deadpool left the alley, unable to resist one final look to assure himself the criminal wasn't going anywhere. He shot off a couple webs just to be safe.

Once they reached the street Peter lifted a hand to take to the skies, but Wade's gloved hand on his wrist brought muscle memory to a pause.

"Let's walk?"

Peter lowered his hand, flushed when Wade's grip remained, and shrugged. "I guess."

"Yay! I brought candy since I keep stealing yours and a walk is a much safer way to eat it. Don’t text and swing.."

"Sure," Peter acquiesced, gently shaking his wrist from Wade's grasp. He knew from experience that Wade's mind wandered, so if left to his own devices he'd probably forget he was holding it in the first place. Not to mention the fact that any prolonged physical contact would have Peter doing more than just blushing behind his mask.

The duo talked as they walked. About people they passed on the street, about some of the tamer jobs Wade had in the past. At one point they were approached by a group of kids begging for autographs, which Peter only indulged because Wade was just as excited as the children. How a grown man could manage to be so adorable, Peter couldn't explain.

They eventually came to the building where their paths parted after a night of patrol -- in the safety of his own mind Peter often called it  _ their _ meeting place, not that he would ever say as much out loud. In his hand laid a green pixie stick, the last in the bag Deadpool had gifted to him earlier.

"Webs? You gonna eat that?"

Peter shifted his gaze to Wade with a laugh. "I thought the whole point of this was you giving me candy because you felt bad for eating all my sweets?"

"You ate the other fifteen with no interference from me. I figured we were square. Unless that one is special to you?"

"What are you gonna give me for it?"

"Spidey!" His gasp sounded more genuine than theatrical. "Are you demanding a  _ bribe? _ I can't believe I've finally corrupted you."

"I was corrupted long before you came along."

"_Bigger gasp_!"

"Do you have an offer or not? Because if not…" Peter ripped off the top of the paper wrapper, lifting the package to his mouth so Deadpool could get the idea.

"No, wait! I'll… I will…" He shot his hand out and stopped Peter's motion, a look of revelation passing over his eyes through his expressive mask. "I will trade you one kiss."

Peter didn't know how or when Wade would have acquired chocolates during their stroll, but he didn't put it past the merc to have the candies in one of his many pouches. He could be nice and take it home to Aunt May. "Okay, deal."

Wade took the pixie stick from him with one hand, and used the other to tilt Peter's head a bit. Peter himself tilted it further, a dictionary definition of bemused, but allowed the touch to happen.

"'Pool, what are -"

But a lightning fast press of masked lips against his own brought Peter's mind to a standstill, his next words dying in his throat. The kiss ended as quickly as it began. Peter opened his eyes to find Deadpool a full three steps away, holding up his sugary prize triumphantly.

"Worth it!"

Peter blinked, feeling somewhere between stupid and drunk. What the hell just happened? "Did you just -"

"Hold up my end of the bargain? Indeed I did, Spidey. You just made my night twice."

Peter blinked a few more times. Okay, so that had really just happened. Wade had really kissed him. On purpose. Masks still being on was a minor detail. Of all the times Peter had imagined being kissed,  _ none  _ of them involved he and Wade suited up on the dimly lit streets in front of their meeting place. "Umm… yeah."

"Oh. Shit. Did I break Spider-Man?! Just breathe, Webs. Big deep breaths." Wade stepped forward hesitantly, placing his free hand onto Peter's shoulder when the younger man didn't shy away. "Are you okay? Did I go too far?"

Peter shook his head. "No. You're good and I'm fine. I just wasn't expecting that."

"Do we have different ideas of what a kiss entails?" Deadpool asked worriedly.

"Kind of? I thought you meant the candy."

"Oh." Wade removed his hand, cradling it against his chest. "I'm sorry. I never would have done that if I knew you were looking for Hershey's."

"It's okay. Seriously. I know you wouldn't. And it's not like it was a hardship for me anyway."

"Right. See ya around, Spidey."

He left before Peter could respond.

**.....-----.....**

As a child, Peter didn't often have a traditional Halloween experience. Sometimes he went trick or treating with Aunt May or Uncle Ben, soon left in the care of friends' parents as groups of kids took to the streets in packs. Sometimes he had to stay home and hand out candy to kids in his neighborhood. When his life changed thanks to a radioactive spider bite, he had other things on his mind

Now mostly in tune with his powers and with a fairly consistent routine, he could look at Halloween with a healthy dose of joy mixed in. All the candy he could want from kids in awe of Spider-Man and generous adults both, countered by the increase of his spider sense's sensitivity. All the people in masks did  _ not  _ mesh well with his ever present fight or flight response.

He'd told May he'd be at MJ's for a party, promised he wouldn’t get home too late, and quickly found a deserted alley to change into his suit. He  _ could  _ have just told May it was a costume, but he didn't want to chance it. Not with his luck.

A handful of minutes later he stood on the roof of his and Wade's meeting spot, arms wrapped around his waist as a strong breeze pressed a chill into his skin. He looked out over the city streets, lights bright as ever and masses of costumed individuals flitting from door to door. There were plenty of superheroes roaming the streets, but Peter found himself following the path of a child in a frog costume. The little kid literally hopped up and down each time someone dropped candy into their pillowcase.

"Cute tadpole."

Peter didn't so much as flinch as Wade sat down beside him, a stark contrast to the first time Wade had appeared out of nowhere and nearly sent Peter to a premature death. He just moved a little closer so they wouldn't have to shout to be heard over the wind picking up speed around them.

"I don't know that kid or their parents, but I respect their costume choices."

"R-E-S-P-E-C-T, that's what that costume means to me."

"Something like that."

"Aww, you're not gonna sing the next line?"

"I thought we were here for an old-fashioned candy swap."

"YES!" Wade scrambled to his feet, performing some kind of jig as he revealed not just one or two but  _ three  _ full bags of candy. "Had a good haul this year," he commented idly as Peter gaped. "Don't look at me like that! I came by this treasure trove honestly and legally!"

Peter grabbed his stash, paltry compared to Wade's, and laid it out on the rooftop between them. Wade quickly sat across from him, dumping his candy into one large pile. The cascade of chocolate bars, various chewy candies, occasional pieces of fruit, and an untouched pumpkin pie caught Peter's eye. He didn't even notice Wade was creating a separate pile until the box of Nerds he'd been focused on suddenly moved.

Off to the left Wade had started a pile of all the candy which was remotely fruit flavored, including the fun sized box of orange and grape Nerds. They were soon joined by three different types of Skittles, four types of Starburst, strawberry Twizzlers, tropical Mike & Ikes, two boxes of Dots, some Jolly Rancher lollipops, and Life Saver gummies. To the right went all the chocolate based treats like Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, Hershey's miniatures, Snickers, Milky Way, Twix, Almond Joy, Kit Kats, and Butterfingers. Left in the middle were the remnants: PayDay, butterscotch toffee, and that puzzling pumpkin pie.

Wade took one look at Peter's pile once his own was sorted to his satisfaction, then wordlessly pushed the entire mound of fruit flavored treats in Peter's direction.

"I freely give you all of Fruit Mountain, if you would be so gracious to accept the gift."

Peter sat for a second as if he needed to think it over, then reached out and pulled the entirety of the pile into his territory. He plucked out the Dots and tossed them to Wade. It was only fair.

"Is there anything from mine that you wanted?" he offered, not expecting Wade to really want anything. But he was raised to be polite, despite how little May believed her etiquette lessons stuck.

Wade scanned his options, eventually grabbing hold of the _one candy_ Peter could _never _give up. "How about this one?"

"No."

"What?"

"I can't, Wade. Anything else is fair game."

"But why?"

"I just can't."

"Why not?"

"Just pick something else."

"I will. After you tell me why this particular candy is so precious."

"It's kinda dumb," Peter warned. Usually when he told this story people either laughed at him or walked away entirely like they physically couldn't handle how crazy he was. But Wade nodded for him to continue, encouraging, so Peter took a calming breath and confessed. "Whoppers are the candy my uncle loved the most. So any time I have some, especially on Halloween, I go visit him and leave some at his grave." Peter closed his eyes, anticipating laughter. "I know it's ridiculous but it helps me feel closer to him, you know?'

Silence. Peter cautiously opened his eyes. Wade had placed the Whoppers back on top of Peter's pile and was now staring straight ahead. With anyone else the blank look would be intimidating, but Peter knew it meant Wade was either listening to the voices inside his head or he simply didn't have the right words for what he wanted to say. So Peter waited.

"That's not stupid, Petey. That is some of the sweetest shit I've ever heard." Wade cocked his head to the side, listening to voices Peter couldn't hear, then laughed. "White says Whoppers are basically chocolate ash that's been petrified, but somehow still tastes edible. And that he admires your coping mechanisms."

"Thanks, Wade. And to White, too."

"Yellow says he doesn't like being left out. Honestly he said a lot more, but that's the gist of it."

Peter leaned over his piles of candy, made sure to be smack dab of Wade's personal space, and whispered, "Well, we wouldn't want that."

The older man shivered. Peter watched Wade's Adam's apple bob as he swallowed audibly. "Is this real life or do I have a sugar high?" Wade shook his head ruefully, like a teacher catching their favorite student cheating on a test. "Should have known your young blood couldn't handle all this candy in one sitting."

Peter closed the scant amount of distance left between them, thrilled by the way Wade went cross eyed to keep Peter in his sight. "I haven't eaten any of my candy yet. Unless you're implying I can get a sugar high just from being in the vicinity?"

"Contact highs are a legitimate thing, Spidey."

"How about I trade you those Whoppers for a kiss?"

"What kind of idiot would say no to that?"


End file.
